5 Strategies to Cope with Worry
With everything that is going on in the world, I thought it would be a good idea to write a blog post about strategies for coping with worry (and anxiety, and fear, and all the other associated synonyms). I have dealt with my fair share of worry and anxiety over the years, so I felt compelled to share what I’ve learned and tips that have worked for me.
What You First Have to Realise
I’m going to first explain all of the things that you have to realise and understand about worrying and the like before I dive into actionable tips that you can implement to help ease your worry.
The first thing you have to realise is that you are not your mind. The best way that I can explain this is that a lot of us tend to believe that whatever worries and nonsense pop up in our minds are real, but they are not real. More often than not, they are what our minds make up in response to an external stimulus. The way I like to think of it is that my mind is a separate entity from who I am in my essence. I highly recommend reading this article I stumbled across once upon a time about how to stop worshipping your mind.
The second thing you have to realise is that the mind is incredibly powerful. The mind is like a magnet - when a worry arises in your mind, your mind wants to drag you in and make you follow it. Your mind wants to create worst-case scenarios to protect you so that should a worst-case scenario happen, your mind can say, ‘Hey, I foresaw that, so you weren’t blindsided!’ But the problem with this is that your worries get magnified because those worst-case scenarios are not happening right now, so there is nothing that you can actually do about them. If a worst-case scenario did actually happen, the power of your presence would allow you to deal with the situation, but if everything is only in your mind, you can’t deal with anything. So how do you stop following your mind then?
With awareness. Being aware that you are worrying is the first step to stop worrying. You have to become aware that you’re worrying and realise that, like Eckhart Tolle says, ‘Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose.’
I can already hear your rebuttal of, ‘But what I’m worrying about is justified!’ Know that that is just your mind saying that. Ask yourself this: Why is what you’re worrying about justified? Because your worry might come true? Is your worry actually coming true at this moment? Likely not, because if it was coming true, instead of worrying, you would actively be dealing with the situation. You need to separate your mind’s narrative, which is just a made-up story, from the actual situation. There is also a great quote by Alan Watts: ‘No amount of anxiety makes any difference to anything that is going to happen.’
I know, I know, but that’s a lot easier said than done. Let’s now dive into some strategies to cope with worry.
1. Take Deep Breaths
Close your eyes and take deep breaths while counting to 10. This can be done at any time and helps to cut off the stream of worrying. When you focus on breathing, you can’t also focus on worrying at the same time. In the beginning, it can be extremely easy to forget to pause and do this, so I would recommend setting reminders, perhaps on your phone or with sticky notes in a room that you go into often. Do this every hour or as often as you feel you need.
2. Try Meditating
There seems to be a misconception that meditating is sitting still without any thoughts or worries arising. This is why, over the years, when I’ve brought up the idea of meditation to different people, they wave it off and proclaim that they would never be able to meditate because they just can’t sit still without thinking.
You need to realise that meditation is more of a practice wherein when thoughts or worries arise (as they always do), you simply notice and become aware of them, and then softly let them go, thereby not allowing your mind to suck you in. You can visualise it as clouds passing through the sky, where your worries are the clouds passing through. The more you practice meditating, the better you will get and the more you can integrate the practice of being aware of your worries and letting them go into your day-to-day life instead of only while sitting still.
The other thing to be aware of is that meditation shouldn’t be looked at as something with an end goal. Rather, it should be looked at as a lifelong practice.
While there are a multitude of meditation apps out there, I personally use and would highly recommend Calm. There are tons of features on the app alongside meditation, including Sleep Stories, music, masterclasses, and more. I’ve been using it for years and I sit down to meditate for 10 minutes every morning. It’s a really grounding practice that helps me to start my day off in a settled way. Of course, you can experiment with meditating at different times of the day. Perhaps an evening meditation would suit you better to get you ready for bed.
3. Take a Break
Take a break from the things that are causing you to worry, such as reading or watching the news. Try distracting yourself by calling or hanging out with a friend, or getting immersed in a good novel, or going for a walk. If venturing outdoors, focus on the sights and sounds around you to prevent your mind from wandering. Listen to the birds chirping, look up at the clouds moving, and notice the plants around you. If you’re in a busy environment and there is not much nature around you, then you can tune in to the crowds of people bustling around, look at the architecture of the buildings, and watch as cars drive past. You don’t need to label or judge things. Just be here now.
4. Challenge Your Worries
There is a tendency for a worry to pop up and for your mind to immediately believe it and latch on to it, oftentimes without you fully realising. When a worry surfaces, stop yourself and question it. As well, check if the worry is solvable or not. If it is, then work out what steps you can take to ease the worry, but if it’s not, try your best to accept the uncertainty. It can be difficult to do, but if you don’t accept the uncertainty, then you’re resisting it. And what you resist, persists. Acceptance is incredibly freeing.
5. Stay Healthy
When we worry, we tend to not eat very well, we don’t feel like exercising, and we don’t get enough sleep, but it is important to stay as healthy as possible. A healthy body can contribute to keeping a healthy mind. It could even be small steps like reaching for an extra fruit or committing to going outside for some fresh air each day.
Of course, if your worry gets to a level where it feels unmanageable, then please seek professional advice.
I will leave you with a quote from a BBC video on YouTube by a Ukrainian woman in the military who was getting married who said, “We must live in the moment. Many people talk about it but just a few people live according to this rule. To remain sane, we need to live in the moment.”
Isn’t that true?
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In this blog post, we talk about strategies for coping with worry, including understanding that you are not your mind, challenging your worries, and more.